Question by : What should I do about my father and my (half) brother?!?
First off, my parents are now divorced and my dad has a girlfriend. They’re not married, but she already has a daughter at my age (14) and my half brother who is around six years old now. My mom has custody of both my sister and I, but my mom lost her job, so now we’re kinda of poor and I can’t ask her for anything because I know we’re VERY tight with money, so if I need anything, I usually go to my dad. Ever since we were younger, my sister and I have always been pretty mature about everything, especially the divorce, but when we were younger my dad suddenly told us that we just got a brother (we didn’t even know that his girlfriend was pregnant!) Of course since we were young, we didn’t think much of it and thought nothing was wrong, but now things are different. It’s not that I hate my half brother, but it infuriates me that my father spoils him so much! Since my sister and I understand that little kids need a lot of attention, we don’t really say anything when my father doesn’t pick us up on the weekends like he’s supposed to. Every time we want to spend some time with him, all he thinks about is my half brother. For example: we asked him to take us costume shopping for Halloween and he says no, but then when my brother says he wants a costume he can’t wait to get to the freaking costume shop. We are at ToysRus one day (my seven year old beloved nintendo DS breaks that day) and then my father buys my brother a brand new DS which my brother is probably going to break in 1 month (my stepsister told me he doesn’t even use it), which doesn’t even make sense because he breaks every single game system he ever gets in a short period of time (3 gameboy SP’s and 2 DS’s) and then my father got upset because he didn’t want to buy my sister $ 10 headphones -.- which she only asked for because she didn’t want them to break and to have to ask again. Plus, he bought my sister a $ 100-$ 150 crappy laptop for Christmas(it didn’t even have Microsoft word!), but he decided to get my six year old brother (who can barely even speak properly) a GODDAMN IPAD on a whim(it wasn’t even Christmas or his birthday!). What kind of six year old needs an ipad?! Once, when I asked to go to the library for a book for my project, he said yes but he just HAD to buy a specific toy for my brother or else he would throw a tantrum. My sister and I tell my father that he’s spoiling my brother and is wasting so much money on toys that he’s not going to use or will easily get bored of. I also spent the night at my dad’s house one time and since there is a public pool a block away, I wanted to go swimming. Although, the next morning I got my period but I don’t use tampons (and who wants to go swimming when they have their period anyway) so I told my father, and all he could say was “Oh, Mark’s going to be so disappointed, I’m going to have to take him somewhere else so that he’ll calm down.” It annoys me how he acts like Mark is his only child. I also feel bad for my stepsister because the ground floor one bedroom apartment they live in is so tiny, they barely have any space for her. She’s practically living in a closet and I’m not even exaggerating! He bought so many expensive toys for my brother, that if he didn’t, he most likely would’ve been able to move into a bigger place by now! Also, since my dad is a principal, he always used to encourage us to read (and I really do love reading, video games is just a hobby), but now, he only buys Mark toys. What the hell ever happened to books?! It feels like my sister and I are drifting away from my dad, because before he used to treat us like the son he never had, but now that he has one, it feels like we’re being pushed aside like some kind of insignificant things that never should of been part of his life in the first place! I don’t mean to sound egotistical and spoiled, but if he’s going to spoil his children, he should at least do it equally or he shouldn’t do it AT ALL! I mean, love my dad, but this has gone on long enough! What should I do? What do I say to my dad????

Best answer:

Answer by chris
Some of this sounds like jealousy, but some of your complaints are legit. The problem is, when a couple with children gets divorced, one parent isn’t there everyday to see the children grow and strengthen their bond with them. He should not be missing any weekends with you girls. If something comes up then he should reschedule. You’re going to have to tell your dad straight out that you feel he loves mark more than you do, that you’re jealous of the relationship, etc. A lot of your complaints are about material things so don’t be surprised if he brings up that he thinks you mainly just want him to buy you things. I’m sorry your mother lost her job, I know that it is hard for all of you but I’m going to assume that your dad is paying child support so he is giving your mother money for things you need , so its up to your mom to hopefully find a job so she can help get you nice things too. Ask your dad for some time to hang out, just the two of you and don’t ask for anything. Work out a book for the two of you to read and then discuss it when you get together. Work out other plans. Work on your relationship, that’s what you need more than game systems. Oh and ask your mom if you can start babysitting for neighbors/friends and get cpr training and take a babysitting course (its really very helpful to do this).

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